i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
