Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
