She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
