I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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