Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
