The maid of honor just puked.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
