So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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