Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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