sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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