I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
