But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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