I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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