she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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