I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
