Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
