So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
