just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
high people should be assigned attendants
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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