$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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