Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
