I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
