North Korea, Best Korea!
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Found the puke drawer
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
