He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
