The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
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My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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