Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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