This is not my ceiling
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
