when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Randomize
