I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
