New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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