Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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