white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
