i'm signing you up for texting rehab
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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