When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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