I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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