You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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