i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
