Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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