There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Randomize
