that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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