What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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