i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
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