Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
