I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
it glows. i had to have it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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