the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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