I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
