i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
