2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have post one night stand depression
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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