i think i have herpe
just one?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
