he puts the penis in happiness.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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