Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
