considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
