Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I think your dad took our porno
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
