A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize