the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
