I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
