You're so nebulous sometimes
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
be right there i have to get my cape
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
