I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize
