I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
