but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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