the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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