How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
